I haven't seen mom for a couple days so when she calls, boy is she mean.  Says I never come to see her, she will just sit in her room all by herself until she dies, etc.  Of course then the guilt starts and I can't stop thinking about her.

Next weekend I am moving her from assisted living to the alzheimer's unit.  The nurses and staff advised me to do this as most of her anger comes from being alone in her room.  Since she is in assisted living the only time the caregivers come in is for the periodic checks or when she asks for assistance.  It will be a huge change and one which I am sure she will hate.  Her new room is about half the size of the one she has now and only has room for a bed, dresser, chair and ottoman.  I bought her new white bedroom furniture (in the childrens' dept.)  and will make up her bed in white and pink - should be very cheery.  HA!

The biggest difference in the Rem unit as it's called (short for Reminesence which is supposed to sound better than Alzheimer's) is that the residents are not in their rooms except early morning and later in the evening.  Their time is to be spent in the communal living and dining areas.  The aids are constantly with the residents in these areas and keep them busy with lots of activities each day.  Whitney who is the Rem Coordinator, told me it was one big happy family there.  Just wait until the newest member of this family arrives!  My mom does not like other residents at all and only wants to spend time in her room with her cat.  The saving grace might be that she is usually pleasant with her caregivers and will do what they ask of her.  Of course then she will call me later and bitch until I either get mad, cry or hang up on her!

Mom's psych nurse told me that it's okay to hang up on her when she's very angry or won't stop complaining.  It took a long time before I could even consider this but I have learned that it really helps me and she doesn't remember half an hour later.  I just say "Mom, I'm hanging up now" and then I do.  Many of my responses to her these days seem uncaring but unfortunately are necessary.

It really bugs me that it's almost 5:00 in the morning and I have been awake for two hours because I couldn't turn my brain off worrying about her.